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Monday, 12 October 2015

Two buses diverge in a yellow wood

Two of the bus routes I ride regularly overlap for a small portion of their routes (we're talking like 6 blocks here people). But apparently that is enough to confuse some bus drivers who drive both routes.

Today, for not the first time I might add, I was riding the bus that is supposed to go straight at the intersection where the two routes diverge. So you can imagine my surprise when we're suddenly rounding that corner. Of course, the first time this happened I had a momentary panic that perhaps I got on the wrong bus or there was some detour that I was unaware of, but this time I knew exactly what had happened. And I knew that we were going to get to drive around in a nice circle to get going back in the right direction.

Don't worry, I didn't want to be home anytime soon. This is a nice way to cap an already mediocre Monday.

Friday, 24 July 2015

Move to the back or get punched in the back

It really is best for everyone if you just move to the back of the bus...including for yourself. Because, you see, if you don't, but then other people (who aren't jerks or idiots) who actually want to get to the back have to go around you. In order to let them pass you (kind soul that you are) you have to lean back awkwardly and probably take a bit of a step. But then that step might cause you to almost step on some poor girl's (who may or may not have a transit blog) foot. Unfortunately for you, that girl is on top of things and to prevent such a misfortune to her own foot, she is forced to jam her fist into your back to keep you from backing up.

Moral of the story: if you don't want to be punched by a passive aggressive blogger, you should just move to the back of the bus.

Saturday, 18 July 2015

mom, mom, Mom, MOM, MOOOMMM

You know what's even less fun than a 30 minute bus ride at 11:30pm? The same bus ride with a shrieking toddler. The same bus ride with a shrieking toddler so loud I can hear her over my headphones. The same bus ride with a shrieking toddler whose delinquent mother is either too high or too stupid to actually do any parenting and just lets her keep yelling. I mean, you know it's bad when the bus driver has to make an announcement: "Young lady, there's no screaming on the bus." Now I don't have kids, but I kinda thought that sort of thing fell under the "parent duty" umbrella, not the "bus driver duty" umbrella.

Monday, 13 April 2015

It's a one way street

The alternative title for this post is "You snooze, you lose". By this what I mean is that if you see a seat at the front of the bus that you want, you should sit in it as soon as you reach it.

What you should not do, as illustrated by the girl getting on the bus in front of me this afternoon, is get on the bus at the front of a long line of people, get halfway down the aisle of the bus and then try to turn around to sit in a seat you already passed. Why? Read the title...Because it's a one-freakin-way street! There isn't room for me to let you pass me, and a line of a dozen people (the latter half of which can't even see that you exist) certainly is not just going to back itself up so you can get your preferred seat. You had your chance; you missed it. Now you either keep moving your ass along with the flow or I ram into you with my backpack as you try to squeeze past me in reverse.

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Music to my ears

If you're going to get on the bus carrying a giant musical instrument you should probably endeavor to not nearly take off the heads of everyone sitting on the aisle with it as you hunt for a seat.

Better yet, if it turns out you're only going ONE STOP, maybe you should just stand at the front with that thing. Normally I'd say just walk the two blocks, but watching this kid attempt to walk the length of the bus and carry his case at the same time was cringe-worthy enough.

No marching band for you kid.

Friday, 13 February 2015

Am I a terrible person because I don't want to talk to your child on the bus

Got on a bus leaving campus today. Went to sit at the back in my usual spot when I saw a kid sitting by himself. He seemed kinda young to be riding the bus alone (like 6 or 7 maybe), but there was no adult who was evidently attached to him.

A few people got on the bus at the same time as me and the child immediately went up to a couple of them and said "do you want to play with me?" After a couple of polite declines, the child proceeded to sit in about 3 different seats and swing around one of the handrails, with no intervention from the man I eventually discovered to be his father (via the repeated tossing back and forth of the child's backpack).

The child found a slightly more receptive audience when a group of girls got on a few stops later. They politely engaged in some conversation and what I think was an exchange of popcorn from the child. All the while I am staring at my phone, have my headphones in and am desperately trying not to make eye contact. I figured I was safe, until the gaggle of girls departed the bus. Then the child came and sat next to me.

Luckily he didn't try to talk to me. I mean, if I don't want to engage with adults in conversation on the bus, I certainly don't want to be trapped talking to a child for half an hour. I didn't even move my backpack off the seat next to me. Now maybe that makes me a bad person, but the bus was not that full. And also, go sit with your freaking dad!

Of course, being the ADD child he seemed to be, eventually he had to move from my seat as well. He went back to his first attempt, and chatted up the girl at the back of the bus. I had to laugh when she asked him if he was an only child; I couldn't decide what I thought the answer would be: yes, because he seems overly comfortable talking to adults, or no, or else he'd be able to entertain himself quietly on the bus.

At some point in the middle of this conversation, I was also offered popcorn, which I politely declined.

When his last captive conversationalist got off the bus, he degenerated into bursts of "who let the dogs out" and then asked a few more people (myself included) if they wanted to play with him and his dad.

I nicely said "no thank you", despite wanting to suggest a game called "shut up and sit down before I throw you off the freaking bus".

Seriously, there's a fine line between friendly and annoying. This kid couldn't even see that line anymore.

Friday, 6 February 2015

Some days you're the punchline

I went to the theatre on campus this evening. Saw their production of Twelfth Night, which was excellent by the way. I was feeling pretty classy as I strolled back to my office to pick up my backpack before catching the bus. Of course, that wouldn't last.

From across the street, I saw the bus coming outside my office; I knew the next one wasn't for another half an hour and I wasn't feeling too keen to hang out in my office at 10:30 at night. So I sprinted into the building into my (locked) office, nearly running some guy down in the hallway. Then I sprinted back out to the bus stop - where the bus was just about to pull away; not to be deterred by a small thing like a moving bus, I kept going and practically ran the bus down in a crosswalk. Apparently I freaked the bus driver out a bit, but he stopped for me. Success!

Needless to say, if you read another transit blog post today about some crazy girl with purple hair sprinting in and out of a building, shrieking the occasional profanity while running alongside a bus...that was probably me.

Sunday, 18 January 2015

Bus karma

Well maybe not karma exactly, but someone must think my transit rides have been too easy lately. As a result today was crazy old man at the bus stop day.

First, on my way to church I have to change buses. So I get off one bus and I head to the next bus stop and it's absolutely pouring down rain. Naturally, I go to stand under the cover, but I notice someone else is already there. No big deal right? Who wouldn't stand under cover waiting for the bus in this rain. Incorrect, big deal indeed. It's the friendly neighborhood drunk. He's polishing off a bottle of probably vodka and he's chatty. Of course, he's also drunk and doesn't have much coherent to say. I've got headphones in and a hood over my head and he's slurring a little. I think I made out the phrases "I'm drunk", "I'm an alcoholic " (shocking thanks for the revelation), "I'm waiting for the bus" and something about the Seahawks. Turns out it feels really awkward flat out ignoring someone who's talking at you, but I barely want to talk to sober people at the bus stop never mind sir slurs-a-lot. When the bus finally came, I got on and I think the old guy tried to get on, but when the bus pulled away he was sprawled out on the sidewalk in front of the stop (don't worry though...he probably didn't feel a thing).

Later, thinking I was done with crazy for the day, I made my way to the bus stop to go home. This time there was an old guy eating a sandwich. Now not everyone who waits at a bus stop is looney tunes, mostly it's just other normal people or at least crazies who have the decency to keep to themselves, so I had no reason to suspect this guy was also whackadoo until...
"Nice hair"
So far not too weird. After all, my hair is purple, people comment.
"Yeah, I really like your green hair"
Oh boy...maybe he's color blind?
"Your green hair looks really good especially with the orange highlights. Is green your favorite color?"
And I'm out. Luckily the bus wasn't coming for 10 minutes so I had time to walk to another stop.

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

It's so nice when everything goes right

Don't you love it when it's your first day of teaching for the quarter and you get up early so you'll get to school in time to do some prep before class. Then you're waiting for the bus and it doesn't show up. Ten minutes later when you've given up hope of an early bus, a bus shows up, but it's got the wrong number on it. Luckily the bus driver tells you it's actually the correct bus. However, then at every stop you get to listen to the bus driver scream out the bus number along with things like "let's go" and "what other bus runs here?" Then when you're almost there, you take an extra long stop for some other transit dude to get on the bus and try to fix it...because in the middle of the route seems like a good time for that.

I get it; it sucks that your bus is broken, but how exactly are the people at the bus stop supposed to know that? You can hardly blame us for being confused and slightly hesitant to get on the "55 to Alaska junction" when we're trying to get to UW. I've had bus drivers pull up to the wrong stop before, so sorry, but they don't get to be pissed at us for not just assuming they are driving the correct bus; I don't have that much faith in transit, or humanity for that matter.