Pieces of You (Transit Rule #4)

Guy next to me on the skytrain is picking and pulling off the dead calloused skin from his palm. Eww, eww, eww.

Transit Rule #4: If whatever you are doing is going to result in pieces of you being left behind on transit, stop it!

Being old doesn't exempt you from common courtesy (Transit Rule #3)

I get on the bus and am sitting quite happily in my seat until the last stop on campus. The bus is very full and some old (and likely legally blind) guy gets on. Like a decent human being, I give him my seat. What does he give me? Jack all! Not a thank you or even a smile. Last time I checked, being old and being courteous are not mutually exclusive.

...Which brings me to another transit rule: "If someone gives you their seat, whether or not you 'deserve' it, say thank you!"

Avert your eyes

Whenever I can hear someone speaking from across the skytrain, it is my natural inclination to try to figure out who is talking. So of course, when we got to a stop today and I hear someone saying, "Enjoy folks. Thanks for coming." and other such greetings one doesn't expect on the skytrain, I had to look to see who it was. Unfortunately in doing so I broke one of my own transit rules: "Don't make eye contact."

When I looked over towards the voice, I found myself eye to eye with self-appointed transit greeting man. Luckily the skytrain was full and we were several people apart, so I could quickly avert my gaze to avoid any unwelcome interaction.

In many situations eye contact is good. On transit, it is bad; eye contact only attracts the crazy. It is all the confirmation they need that you REALLY want to hear what they have to say. In the mind of the crazies, eye contact = let's be bffs. So unless you're craving your daily dose of crazy, just say no to eye contact.

Keeping it classy (with Transit Rule #1)

Over my headphones and from somewhere behind me on the skytrain, I hear some guy yelling at what I assume was his cellphone. He hangs up and a few seconds later there is this loud repeated banging noise. I look over and see angry yelling man doing what looks like kicking the skytrain door. Way to throw a tantrum, loser.

Then some guy from a few seats over says what we're all thinking, "Hey man, can you shut the f*#@ up?". I'm thinking to myself, "Oh no, this could end badly." Luckily some other guy distracted angry man by striking up a conversation.

That's one of those skytrain situations that can escalate quickly and leads to one of my rules for riding transit: "Always have an exit strategy."