It's normally such a nice bus...

I frequently take the 509 to Walnut Grove to get to Guildford mall, because it makes no stops between Surrey Central and the mall and it's generally a quiet bus with only a few riders. Today, however, it seemed to be a magnet for sob stories.

First some guy tries to get on with a pop and a plate of pizza. The bus driver tells him he can't bring food on the bus. He says, 'Are you kidding me?'; she tells him to read the sign; he storms off angrily.

Then a girl gets on with a monthly pass. She only half shows it to the driver. The driver stops her and asks to see it again. It's only a 2 zone pass ...the OTHER 2 zones. Driver makes her add fare.

Then some guy gets on with a sob story about how he had a ticket earlier in the day. I didn't hear much more than that, but it ended with him dropping money in the farebox.

Then pizza boy comes back. "What if I promise not to eat it? I'll put it in my bag." Bus driver says no, again. "We can't trust you," she says. Pizza boy calls her a f#@*ing b!tch and storms off again.

Finally some teenager comes running up to the bus and asks the driver if she can wait for his friends. She says, "Only if they are right behind you because I'm leaving now." Boy holds on to bus door and leans out the side of bus to yell at friends to hurry. Now boy and his friends are having an unnecessarily loud conversation in the back of my usually quiet bus.

Added bonus! There is construction on the bus's usual route. So we're on a fantastic detour during which we just sat at one light almost as long as it usually takes to get to Guildford.

Good thing it's Friday.

I'll have a large BO with extra cheese

I'm on the bus, feeling pretty pleased that there is an empty seat next to me, when at the last minute some guy gets on and sits next to me. The first thing that greets me is the overwhelming stench of his BO. Then I see he's got a box of pizza with him. And that's when I realize ... for the next 20 minutes of my life I'll be stuck enduring the smell symphony from hell that is alternating wafts of pizza and BO.