I wish you could see the texture...

Unfortunately, when you sneakily take pictures of people in terrible outfits on transit with an app I've affectionately dubbed "pervert cam" you can't be picky about quality. But if you could see the texture of this outfit, you'd know that this girl was obviously attacked by a pair of tablecloths. One wrapped itself around her, the other stole her pants and ran.

Delays, inappropriate contact and a broken megaphone ...all in a day's commute

When I woke up this morning the first words my mother said to me were "Just so you know, the skytrain is having problems this morning." Thanks, mom. Good morning to you too. Now normally this would actually be good, because if they have problems early, then they can get them fixed before I get to the skytrain. Not this morning.
There's at least 2 announcements before I even board the train. "Attention passengers...we are experiencing major service delays..." There's probably 10 more before I get to transfer at Columbia.
As if spending close to half an hour to go 4 stops on a packed train wasn't enough fun, then we arrive at Columbia. The platform is full. There's a lady with a megaphone giving directions. She clearly did not receive megaphone training. She's either not speaking directly into the megaphone or its broken, because we still can't understand half of what she says. She also thinks that when a train is pulling out of the other side of the tracks is a great time to make an announcement. No really, we can totally hear your mumbled megaphone squawking over the sound of a skytrain gearing up.
After waiting for nearly 10 minutes as 3 or 4 expo line trains pass, we finally get a millennium train! We go one stop and are informed the train is being taken out of service.
Are. You. Kidding?!
Most of us pile off the train. I will never know if the people who stayed on are geniuses or lunatics. When another train arrives we all try to pile back on. I'm literally shoe-horning myself on, cramming myself between some woman and the doors that are trying to close. Seriously, some folks would pay money for the... attention... that woman got from me today. Sorry lady, I was not missing that train.
After all that I was actually only half an hour late for work ...which in my case doesn't actually mean anything anyway, since I can work when I want from where I want. But you know where I can't work from? From pressed up against the backside of some lady on the skytrain!
All in all, a frustrating hour and a half of my life that I will never get back.

Did you pay for 2 seats?

Because transit is already going so well for me today, I should have seen this coming.

I knew this girl was going to be trouble when she was first on (a soon to be very full) skytrain and didn't move all the way into the train. Then at the next stop, some seats cleared out and she sat in the window seat and I sat next to her. Mistake on my part, as I should have already known she had space entitlement issues.

As the photo shows, I ended up with 3/4 of a seat because she couldn't be bothered to take off her backpack and back her knees up and heaven forbid her legs touch her umbrella!

Neon Ninja

You may have heard it said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, I think this girl must have skipped breakfast and thus her brain wasn't operating at full power when she dressed herself this morning. That's the only explanation I can come up with for why she thought this ninja-inspired footwear was a good choice.