Move to the back or get punched in the back

It really is best for everyone if you just move to the back of the bus...including for yourself. Because, you see, if you don't, but then other people (who aren't jerks or idiots) who actually want to get to the back have to go around you. In order to let them pass you (kind soul that you are) you have to lean back awkwardly and probably take a bit of a step. But then that step might cause you to almost step on some poor girl's (who may or may not have a transit blog) foot. Unfortunately for you, that girl is on top of things and to prevent such a misfortune to her own foot, she is forced to jam her fist into your back to keep you from backing up.

Moral of the story: if you don't want to be punched by a passive aggressive blogger, you should just move to the back of the bus.

mom, mom, Mom, MOM, MOOOMMM

You know what's even less fun than a 30 minute bus ride at 11:30pm? The same bus ride with a shrieking toddler. The same bus ride with a shrieking toddler so loud I can hear her over my headphones. The same bus ride with a shrieking toddler whose delinquent mother is either too high or too stupid to actually do any parenting and just lets her keep yelling. I mean, you know it's bad when the bus driver has to make an announcement: "Young lady, there's no screaming on the bus." Now I don't have kids, but I kinda thought that sort of thing fell under the "parent duty" umbrella, not the "bus driver duty" umbrella.

It's a one way street

The alternative title for this post is "You snooze, you lose". By this what I mean is that if you see a seat at the front of the bus that you want, you should sit in it as soon as you reach it.

What you should not do, as illustrated by the girl getting on the bus in front of me this afternoon, is get on the bus at the front of a long line of people, get halfway down the aisle of the bus and then try to turn around to sit in a seat you already passed. Why? Read the title...Because it's a one-freakin-way street! There isn't room for me to let you pass me, and a line of a dozen people (the latter half of which can't even see that you exist) certainly is not just going to back itself up so you can get your preferred seat. You had your chance; you missed it. Now you either keep moving your ass along with the flow or I ram into you with my backpack as you try to squeeze past me in reverse.

Music to my ears

If you're going to get on the bus carrying a giant musical instrument you should probably endeavor to not nearly take off the heads of everyone sitting on the aisle with it as you hunt for a seat.

Better yet, if it turns out you're only going ONE STOP, maybe you should just stand at the front with that thing. Normally I'd say just walk the two blocks, but watching this kid attempt to walk the length of the bus and carry his case at the same time was cringe-worthy enough.

No marching band for you kid.